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Dealing with Mistakes in Maths and Other Subjects
© Beverley Paine Jun 2004
The other day I was talking to a friend who related a problem
she had with her 'perfectionist' nine-year-old son with maths
and language lessons. If got something wrong he would almost
start to cry, really getting upset, and he wouldn't let her show
him where he had gone wrong. I remember having exactly the
same problems when my children were younger.
Eventually I learned that many of the prescribed lessons in the
books didn't relate to my children's individual learning styles,
and that often the way I had learned, and was thus teaching
my children, didn't work with them - a case of clashing
learning styles again. I could have forced my children to comply
with my preferred way or to the books we used, but I their
distress upset me. I felt like I was no better than the teachers
I frequently criticised were!
I am a slow learner and by the time I realised this April had
completely turned off as far as maths was concerned, with a
very low confidence in her natural mathematical ability. At the
age of nine I finally stood back and let her learn maths without
books. Imagine my surprise and delight when two years later
she achieved 95% in maths test from a year 5 class! She had
learned maths by using maths in her everyday life. The problem
was that I was not respecting her learning style, not observing
how she learned maths, but kept trying to impose a regime I
had learned and one the book extolled. It is not easy to switch
from a 'teaching' regime and culture to one of 'observation
first'. I am a slow learner, but I am glad my children are patient.
From time to time I supplemented natural activities with art,
craft and science activities, plus a continuous emphasis on
playing lots of games. Since this time I have also generally
waited until my children demonstrate through daily activities
an understanding of maths concepts (like division) before
offering paper based maths. The best part was the complete
absence of the kind of stress my friend's son experienced.
This doesn't mean to say that we never did lessons from
books, or worked from maths texts. We did, frequently.
They just weren't the basis of our learning program as I
found the children really hated making 'mistakes' and would
often avoid doing the work in order not to make them! But
by removing the offending methodology and adopting
something that made sense to both of us we were able to move
into a phase of negotiation. We each gave ourselves permission
to explore the way we individually learn, rather than blindly
following a method determined by people who didn't know
us at all.
Mistakes in maths seem to take on more importance than
any other subject and consequently 'failing to get it right' is a
much bigger deal. It is hard to relate to mathematical errors
as approximations. What we really need to do is examine
mistakes as the key to lock the door of misunderstanding or
not understanding basic concepts contained within the
problem-solving situation. At times I'd use a story telling
approach to find out the workings in my child's head - why
had he or she arrived at that answer. Often they didn't really
know. A lot of the time my kids simply guessed the answer to
the problems on the page, more often than not getting them
right. Then when they got one wrong they didn't really know
why. Even now my children can accurately 'guess' an answer
to many mathematical problems - this opens up some curiosity
in them as teenagers as to how they get right answers and often
they work out the process - after the answer! They are beginning
to really trust their innate mathematical abilities - in much the
same way they did as very young children - without questioning.
I think this is the essence of allowing children to learn naturally.
Letting them work out the process, rather than prescribing it.
Being there to open up conversation and discussion about
what it is they are doing, not immediately judging the result, but
considering it.
I also encouraged the children to remember that they had a
lifetime ahead of them to learn and that they didn't have to cram it all into twelve short years of schooling. It was important to let
them have a lot of choice in what and how they learned. Most
often, when working from books, if the dreadful apathy, lethargy,
tiredness, or tears began to appear I'd tell the kids to put away
the page they were working on and chose something else, either
another page from the same book or another activity (but it had
to be educational). Like me, they began to see school curriculum
as completely alien to their education, preferring to use activities
immediately relevant to their own lives. They continually amaze
me with the amount of learning they do by not doing anything'schoolish' at all.
Every so often I'd feel insecure with our learning naturally
approach and force the children to 'hit the books'. From an early
age I made it very clear the objectives of these intensive 'school
at home' periods were not educational, but to shore up my lack
of confidence in our preferred approach. Only after doing several
hours of 'bookwork' and 'school projects' could I see that our
approach achieved just as much, if not more, but in a completely different way that was impossible to direct compare. The children
never complained about the imposition of school at home, even
though they'd never been disciplined to complete lessons like
other homeschool children we knew. I think they were happy
to comply because I was very honest with my motivations and
they didn't have to play 'school' very often.
One of the other ways I worked around my children getting
upset when the lesson, no matter what area of learning or life
is occurring, doesn't go according to plan is by asking them
to try and think of different ways of doing things, encouraging
lateral and creative thinking. I preferred not to use the word 'mistake', impressing on them that what many people called
mistakes were actually positive learning experiences. It is all a
matter of attitude. Mostly I encouraged my children to figure
things out for themselves, always offering a model they could
emulate. Copying is something that is held in great regard in
this house - it is just another way to model learning, a great
piece of learning scaffolding. I know that when my children
checked for the answer before working out the sum they
weren't cheating, but trying to work the sums backwards, to
find the process.
My kids really respect the approach of 'have a go, don't say
no' that we adopted. I don't pressure them beyond this - if
they've had a go and they've said no that is good enough for
me (goes for broccoli too!). If they have excellent reasons for
not even having a go I respect that too - but they need to
articulate them to me or whoever is involved. Being on hand to
help (on their terms) was essential but I needed how to be
around sensitively - being in the background was a skill that
was learned very slowly. Most of education is interfering in the
learning process and we parents almost feel compelled to
interfere, thinking that we know best, rather than trusting the
learner (not exactly how we like to be treated personally as
learners though!)
It was tremendously important for me to let the children know
that at all times they are responsible for the learning that occurs
in their lives and that I am only around to help the process along,
to facilitate access to resources and to love them.
The conversation with my friend turned around to perfection,
and how a lot of children, especially homeschooled children,
seem to suffer from perfectionism! I remember when my children
first began writing, especially the boys. They wanted all the words
to come out perfect first time! Like most kids they did the invented
spelling method (which adults use when confronted with needing
to spell unfamiliar words - drawing on strategies they've previously
learned and also drawing on memory of related or suspected
related words and contexts). The boys generally displayed
unhappiness with their invented spelling. This often lead to
frustration and a desire to not write, but get things written for them.
I have noticed that not all children are worried their first writings
don't conform and naturally seem to know the content has greater
importance.
I introduced the idea of drafting, demonstrating where we adults
naturally employ drafting in every day life, and letting them see
my drafts, errors and all. I also let them know that often spelling
isn't important, but that if someone else needed to make sense
of what they had written then conforming to conventions really
helped communication work. I continually stress the importance
of effective communication in our lives; especially pointing to
problems in the media where simple mistakes often lead to
misunderstanding.
I think this took much of the pressure off to get it 'right' the
first time. I also gauged when to spell for the boys and when
to get them to have a go first. I also taught them how to use a
dictionary. Thomas would spend a long time looking through
the dictionary from an early age, especially when playing
scrabble. We also looked at all the different ways we say and
sound and spell words, collecting words with different meanings
and same spellings, etc. I impressed on them that as they read
more they would get to know more words and spelling would,
for the most part, come naturally. Maturation really does play
a part too. Roger proved this to me, but I had to wait until
early teen years to believe it.
We did the occasional spelling test and I paid particular
attention to common and recurring spelling errors, correcting
them when I sensed correction would be taken as a positive
step forward. Over time spelling improved, without (and I
must say this really surprised me) much 'teaching' of spelling,
or even regular writing.
I continuously find it easier to teach adolescents the stuff we
struggle to teach younger children - in much less time too. And
it sticks. But I think that has more to do with the school method
of instruction (being mostly abstract stuff on paper than hands
on relevant activity based learning) than anything the child brings
to the learning environment.
I always tried to let my kids know that different people
approach things differently and one answer for one person is
different from another's - but that to get along in this crowded
world we need to have common answers, common approaches,
things that work for groups as well as individuals. But that
difference and imagination are just as important as 'getting it
right'. I believe it is important to try and keep alive that magical
experimentation that is so wonderful in the first couple of years
of life, trusting that we all tend to conform to the 'right answers'
somewhere along the line.

After 20 years of being a contact and support person
Beverley no longer takes phone call or email inquiries.
Please join one of her yahoo groups if you want
to know more about homeschooling or have a question.

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